“She who walks with integrity walks securely.” — Proverbs 10:9
My Darling Liv,
This will be the first of many letters to you. Think of my letters as a trail of pearls to help you find your way home when you’re feeling lost. I hope you keep it close to your heart. This letter has no theme or plot. It’s a bit random, just like how life is.
My wish for you is to have a beautiful life ahead. I pray you never lose the sparkle in your eyes and that your enthusiasm for life continues to radiate from within.
Ever since you were little, we always said mistakes were okay, it means you’re trying. But know that you can save yourself a lot of time by also learning from the mistakes of others.
One thing I learned in life is that it doesn’t always reward you for all the hard work you put in. Good values and a strong foundation, however, will continue to endure through time.
Life Is All About Relationships
“Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter.”
You can’t do life alone. Meet others who can show you new ways to look at the world. Find friends who are talented, kind, intelligent, and/or fun. Even befriend people you admire. If their strengths compensate for the ones you lack — you’ll accomplish so much more by working together. It’s not too complicated, just surround yourself with good people who challenge you.
Every relationship starts with a conversation. If you dread small talk, borrow one of my tricks: acknowledge the people around you and treat everyone like they matter.
One day when you’re a young lady I encourage you to take a job in a vibrant city, especially when starting out. You need to have life around you. It’s the best way to figure out who you are and what kind of life you want to live. In the same spirit, you’ll gain new friendships while building a network, and it’s these associations that can get you better jobs (they can toss you a ladder). But first, help us build the doors, if you will, so you can access those opportunities.
The quality of your life depends on the quality of your relationships.
Take Care Of Yourself First
“You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
We live in a state of constant change. Most people are scared of it. I say embrace it, and learn to adapt to uncertainty. You can’t have progress without change. Get in the habit of asking yourself: How do I create the life I want? What are my values? Am I being true to myself? Think about your future and the legacy you want to leave.
No one can answer these questions but you.
You’ll be recalibrating your vision for a lifetime. To show up as the best version of yourself, make yourself a priority. Schedule time for self-care and recharge your batteries.
Boundaries are the foundation for regulating a high degree of compassion for people.
Perception Is Everything
“Your life could be unfortunate to some people, yet lucky to others.”
I’m afraid of regret, so mommy’s always been driven. What I didn’t prepare for, however, is the pain of disappointment. Let me warn you now — there will be many disappointments in life. Don’t waste time feeling sorry for yourself. Have the courage to grieve your loss, dust yourself off then keep moving forward.
Life’s a dance. You take one step forward and sometimes you take two steps back. You could marry the perfect man or get into the best school and neither guarantees a happy life. The best way to figure out what makes you happy is to take chances and try new things.
If you dare to dream, be prepared to fight for it. Never show all your cards (please protect your dreams from those who gave up on theirs).
Whatever happens in life, stay in the game. Remember, you can become very resilient if you change your perspective.
It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.
Be Your Own Kind Of Beautiful
“Make yourself memorable and carry yourself as if you have secret passions.”
This isn’t about looks, beauty is the essence of who you are both inside and out. The concept of beauty is forever changing and varies across cultures. What’s universal is the relationship between confidence and beauty: Confident people are perceived to be more charming, which adds to their appearance.
Women have always been judged by their appearances more often than men. People might assume you’re not as intelligent when you prioritize it. I disagree; I believe you can have both beauty and brains. Taking care of yourself shows the world you respect yourself.
Know the qualities that make you unique, and do your best to maximize them. Cultivate a personal style that feels authentic regardless of fashion trends.
Most importantly, surround yourself with people who celebrate you. There’s no better make-up hack than happiness. Let it be your x-factor.
“Beauty is being the best possible version of yourself, inside and out.”
Follow Your Curiosity
“I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.”
My Papa immigrated to the states by himself after his parents, a Chinese Catholic and the other, a member of the Na Champassak Royal Family, were both persecuted in the civil war in Laos during the Vietnam War. Shortly after he arrived in Dallas, Texas his brother and sister joined him. Even though he grew up at a Chinese Catholic boarding school and lived comfortably, he only brought his dreams and what he could carry.
My Papa always told me that when you have nothing, your word is everything. It’s not easy starting over, but he and his siblings eventually opened small businesses so the next generation could thrive. I was proud they could endure sacrifices with such grace. They told us to do every job well no matter what it was, and for me, it showed tremendous courage even in the most trying times.
When you have integrity, your foundation is solid. No one can give or take that from you. If life knocks you down, it’s all you really need to rebuild again.
Just a reminder: Walk with purpose and poise even when you’re lost. People will assume you know where you’re going.
Understand How Money Works
“A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.”
I want you to understand the value of a dollar; money’s only a tool that reflects the value you provide to others. Earning wealth to protect you and your family is not a sin. I believe it’s the lack of money that creates evil, as it causes poverty, hunger, theft, and other crimes.
Learn to market yourself no matter what industry it is. Serving others by sharing what you know will pay off for you . . . well, that’s one piece of the game, at least.
Make time to develop yourself. I encourage you to improve yourself endlessly — because it could also help you in other areas of life, like your finances. Your wealth can only grow if you do.
So, practice these habits now. My hope for you is that you keep everything you earn by serving others.
It takes discipline to make money, and character to keep it.
Never Stop Having Fun
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
I believe life’s meant to be enjoyed, but the good life has a different meaning for everyone. It’s your responsibility to figure out what kind of life you want for yourself. I’m still figuring things out. But if I had to describe what a fulfilling life is, I’d prioritize good health, positive relationships, moral courage, prosperity, respect, or likeability among your peers. And, serving your community.
Strive to be the person God intended for you by living your truth. Create a goal for the life you want, then develop an action plan worth executing.
Even though I value formal education, I believe grit from mental toughness and street smarts is what gives you the resilience to fight for your dreams.
I can’t promise you’ll find happiness in this. I just know when you give 110% to the stuff that matters, you won’t have any regrets.
Take your work seriously, but don’t take yourself too seriously.
You Made Me A Mother
For that, I am forever grateful. I promise to weave beautiful memories for you — memories to keep in your heart for a lifetime.
You’ve given my life so much meaning. I pray that your world is full of love and joy and that you’re always surrounded by good people to share in it.
Love you always & forever,
xo
Mama Bear
