Friendships are the purest relationships since they’re built on supporting each other without a transaction. Other relationships, biological or sexual, are meant to provide something, whereas friendships involve a genuine liking for each other’s company.
It’s also why losing a friend is one of the most painful experiences you can go through.
Good friends play a vital role in our lives. We all need to share our happiness to feel fulfilled, but having no friends is much better than having toxic friends.
According to Psychology Today, there are common red flags that happen when hanging out with a toxic friend. If you constantly feel bad about yourself after spending time with certain people, that’s a sign of an unhealthy dynamic and a fake friend.
If you see these patterns in your relationships, it may be time to move on for your own emotional well-being.
1. You Can’t Be Yourself Around Them
Real friends should be supportive. Never feel like you need to wear a mask to be accepted.
Toxic people make you feel like you’re the problem, and they’re good and displacing dysfunctional behavior onto those around them.
If you find it challenging to be yourself around your friends, ask yourself why.
2. You Feel Like You’re Not Enough
This is a massive red flag and one that should have you scrambling to end the friendship. When people talk down to you and criticize your goals, they’re projecting their insecurities on you.
If you constantly feel degraded and bullied to the point that you question your self-worth, that’s not a real friend.
3. They Don’t Add Value To Your Life
Your inner circle should encourage you to reach your highest potential. According to psychotherapist and relationship expert Esther Perel, “The purpose of building relationships is to share knowledge and skills so you can evolve into the best version of yourself.”
If you have to force yourself to hang out with someone and their negativity leaves you exhausted, then it’s time to decide if you still want this person in your life.
4. They Only Reach Out When They Want Something
If you stop to assess your relationship, who’s always initiating texts, phone calls, and invitations? Are you the one doing most of the work? Do they only reach out when they need support or a favor?
It needs to work both ways.
Perhaps they only keep you around because of what you do for them rather than who you are.
You deserve a good friend who gives as much as they take.
5. The Relationship Makes You Sad More Than It Makes You Laugh
Friends make the fun times better and hard times more bearable.
Do you have more memories of feeling hurt, angry, or ignored than happy moments? What’s the point of a friendship if it mostly brings you pain?
Consistently hurt feelings are a big giveaway of a toxic relationship.
Real friends care about you. That means they’re not only interested when you’re riding high. They also want to be there for you during your lows.
You Are Responsible For Yourself
There are two types of relationships: toxic ones and those that nourish you. Knowing the difference between occasional bickering and an unhealthy relationship with extreme highs and lows will help you decide who to weed out.
If the people you surround yourself with aren’t motivating you to be the best version of yourself, or they make life more stressful — cut your losses and don’t look back.
Some friends are only here for a season. And that’s okay. All friendships teach you something, even if the lesson isn’t always easy.
