Sometimes the best lessons come from unusual places. I’ll start with a brief story about a sauna.
I’ll tell you how an uncomfortable moment helped me extract a big life lesson I still think about years later.
It was 2019 and I was in Bratislava for a business trip.
After work, I decided to check out the hotel gym.
When I stepped into the mixed sauna, I was surprised to see a young man sitting completely naked on the top bench with just a small towel spread out underneath him.
I was wearing a swimsuit.
As I sat down, he started getting visibly uncomfortable, attempting to reposition himself to, emm, cover up.
After a few moments, he apologized for being naked and left.
Here’s the thing though.
There was a sign outside the sauna that said:
“No swimsuits allowed”
But I hadn’t seen it.
And as I later discovered, many European countries have a very strict sauna culture. The golden rule of saunas is that you never wear your swimsuit inside a sauna.
It’s horribly unhygienic and your skin doesn’t breathe properly.
Simply put, it’s a big no-no.
Really, I was the one committing a sauna faux-pas.
So why did this poor guy feel so uncomfortable even though I was in the wrong?
You Have to Be Willing to Feel Naked
Even though this happened several years ago, the moment stuck with me.
Partially because it was funny, but mostly because of the way it made me think about vulnerability in a different way.
Of course, this specific sauna situation was on the extreme end, but every day you find yourself in situations where you have the opportunity to be vulnerable.
You have the chance to do or say something that makes you feel exposed and emotionally naked.
Some moments you go for it.
But most of the time you probably don’t.
Maybe you keep your feelings guarded.
Maybe you don’t say what’s really on your mind.
Maybe you avoid acting silly when all you want to do is run around like a little kid.
That’s a shame because when you give yourself permission to be your authentic self, you’re really giving everyone else around you permission to be themselves too.
If you’re willing to be exposed and vulnerable, other people will also feel comfortable enough in your presence to open up and let their guard down.
The Truth About Vulnerability
One of the greatest fears people have (even the most confident people in the world) is getting ridiculed by their peers.
The thought of getting laughed at by people you care about is scary enough that most of us choose to hide parts of ourselves to ensure it doesn’t happen.
We Dull The Edges of Our Personality
That’s why you rarely get to see the full picture of who someone is unless you know them really well.
Think about it.
There’s probably only a handful of people you know to this degree — siblings, your spouse or parents, and maybe a few close friends if you’re lucky.
The funny part is that the best moments in life are usually the ones when people are willing to drop the facade and just be themselves fully. No filter.
You hear everyone talking about vulnerability as a superpower these days.
Sure. But it’s not just about letting people see your flaws, failures, and imperfections.
It’s also about giving people the space to show you their true selves and imperfections without the fear of being judged.
And as I learned from my sauna experience, the only way someone feels comfortable being naked around you is if you’re willing to be naked too.
