There is no past or future, but only the infinite now.
“If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” — Lao Tzu
Until a baby is around eight months old, objects that are out of sight cease to exist from her point of view. That’s because as infants we have to learn there’s more to the world than what we experience in the present. Babies are natural masters of out of sight out of mind until they learn to search for what they have lost and eventually start asking for what they don’t have.
We figuratively leave the Garden of Eden as soon as we learn things might be different from how they are. We go from enjoying what is to missing what was and wishing for what could be.
Because we abandon the present so early on in life we don’t remember we ever lived there. We don’t remember what we are missing out on. Besides, even if we missed living in the now, society said it’s irresponsible to do so.
From the moment we start talking, adults ask us what we would like to be when we grow up. In some families, the college track begins in kindergarten with music lessons, academic summer camps, competitive sports, and private tutors.
“Think about your future,” Parents say. “You’ll make a great CEO one day.” They dream.
Maybe we would have learned how to dream without parental guidance. Maybe wanting, dreaming, and striving are as natural to humans as eating, sleeping, and loving.
However, I think it’s safe to say if society didn’t teach us how to dream or what to dream for, our desires would at least belong to us. We would likely also remember nothing we can obtain someday beats what we already have today.
Regardless of who we are, where we live, or what kinds of luxuries surround us, we share a common gift, the present. The problem is most of us spend very little time living in it.
As explained, this is of no fault of our own. We have been programmed to plan for what will happen and complain about what has happened. We beat ourselves up over what could have been and worry ourselves sick over what might never be, rarely stopping to focus on what is, the only thing that will ever be, right here, right now.
Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now relays this simple yet profound message: all we had, have, and will ever have is now. This isn’t a philosophy. It’s a fact.
The past is a memory of what happened in yesterday’s now. The future is a projection of what we hope or fear might happen in tomorrow’s now. Today, of course, also happens now, and it’s the only now that currently exists.
The human concept of time isn’t precious, but knowing how to live in the present moment is. What we do with our now is what we do with our lives, and the ability to escape the mind and enter the moment is the mark of true enlightenment.
We can and should use the mind when we need it, but if we don’t control the mind, the mind will control us. That’s how most of us live, with our subconscious driving, our thinking mind judging, and our true consciousness in the backseat with headphones in, scrolling on TikTok, paying no attention at all to what’s happening.
Of course, we can take off our headphones, put the phone away, pause and look around, but most of the time we don’t. While we plan for our futures and reminisce on the past, the present is pleading for our awareness.
The more focus you give to the now, the freer you feel. Here is how you can start to do that.
1. Observe The Mind
I find this to be easiest in moments of stillness such as during yoga or meditation, but the mind can be observed at any moment of any day. Do you tend to escape into a fantasy future or a comforting memory? Are you fearing what could come next or regretting what has already passed? When you notice your mind wandering, gently bring it back. Remind yourself that now is all there is and all there will ever be.
2. Keep a Gratitude Journal
People often say “be grateful” without making it clear that gratitude is a practice just like any other. Like love, gratitude is also a verb. Writing at least five things a day you are grateful for is a great reminder that what you have today is already sufficient. It must be. You are alive.
3. Accept Things As They Are
I’m going to be honest, this is particularly challenging for me. I often think I can create a better reality in my head than the one in the world. The best way I have found to accept things as they are now and not obsess over how I want them to be is to follow a simple mantra: Start where you are. In other words, work with what you have.
Do what you can today. Accepting your life doesn’t mean you can’t try and change your life circumstances. When you focus on the present, you will actually be much more productive because you’re no longer splitting your energy between what you can control and what you can’t. Find one thing you can do today and start there.
4. Know You Are Safe
When you try to live in the present, the ego will try to convince you your identity is under constant attack and at risk of obliteration. This will feel frightening because no one wants to “lose themselves.” As much as your ego will try to convince you this is a likely outcome, it’s not.
We are resilient beings, and we tend to make it through even those things we could have never imagined. You can’t solve the future or change the past, but you can always handle the present moment either by acceptance or action.
We naturally lived in the now when we were born, and the challenge of our lives is learning how to get back there. When I spent two months living in a small southern Italian town, I learned the life philosophy “piano piano”. At first, I interpreted this phrase by its literal meaning, slowly slowly. Now I notice it means so much more than that.
Piano piano not only encourages us to take things slow but to live day by day. The future isn’t here yet. The past will never be here again. All we have is now. Luckily now is where we can find our perfect peace.
