The LGBTQ community is meant to be just that — a community. A welcoming place where gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer-identifying people can be themselves, free of prejudice, discrimination, and hatred.
It’s a place where they can celebrate their love and identity without fear of reprisal and with the knowledge that they are safe, they are loved, and they are accepted for who they are . . . supposedly.
In many cases, this is exactly what goes on. Coming out and joining the ranks of the LGBTQ community provides you with an instant support group to help you live your truth and keep you safe and healthy. This is especially important for LGBTQ youth, who seriously consider suicide up to three times more often than heterosexual youth because of the pressures they face.
All is not well, though, in the LGBTQ community. In fact, there’s a major problem leading to so much more needless tragedy. This community, built on ideas of love and inclusion, has a HUGE issue with racial injustice.
Replacing Homophobia with Racism
The bare truth of it is that too many people of color who are members of the LGBTQ community are being marginalized because of their racial status.
There are some serious statistics to back up this trend. Research conducted by major LGBTQ charity Stonewall says that a full 51 percent of Black, Asian, and minority ethnic LGBTQ people report discrimination based on race within what was supposed to be an inclusive community.
This isn’t just some amorphous problem that you read about in the papers. This is affecting real people trying to live their lives, and it’s leading to countless tragedies across the globe, both in locations that are traditionally seen as LGBTQ-friendly and those that are not.
Entire studies have been done examining the fact that non-white queer folk is committing suicide at rates that outpace their white counterparts, even when correcting for issues such as familial support, depression, and substance abuse.
No Fats, Fems, or Asians
As an ally to the LGBTQ community, I wanted to bring attention to this issue. In another life, I worked in fashion and had friends who were part of the community. I also lost them all to suicide.
The LGBTQ community, despite its roots in creating inclusive spaces, is suffering from a terrible trend. When dating apps like Grindr allow their members to use language such as “no fats, no fems, no Asians” with impunity, it showcases just how exclusionary the community has become.
It’s important to note that Grindr finally banned such language in 2018, but it took a full nine years from the inception of the app for this change to happen. Even as an ally looking in, it’s obvious that this is sending the wrong message.
Some members of the LGBTQ community are bombarded with this toxic, damaging speech in a space meant to be safe and welcoming. Did they internalize these messages as their community shunned and devalued them?
How many, after years of being told that, yes, they might be LGBTQ, but they’re still not good enough because of the color of their skin or their ethnicity, decided to take their own lives because there was no place left for them in the world?
I knew of three, and that’s three too many.
If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, please reach out.
LGBT National Hotline: (888) 843–4564
The Trevor Project: (866) 488–7386 | Trevor Text: Text START to 678–678
SAGE National LGBT Elder Hotline: (877) 360-LGBT (5428)
Trans Lifeline: (877) 565–8860
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: (800) 273–8255
